Tuesday, December 06, 2005

lists lists ...its all the same to me

so , now is the time when we re all meant to list our top things of the year.
my problem is ..i dont remember jack of what ive seen , done , listened to etc.....just know that i had some killer nights out and prbably laughed a lot en route.

i like music a lot but get wildly infuriated by end of year lists.

in uk if you read nme it will be predicatble pile of pish for youngsters.......or as it is in my case, my middle aged mates pretending to like offerings from the 'kids' bands - black party,frank ferdinand,spunky munkies,deaf from above 1999........or wotever theyre called..............theyre just a bloody pile of regurgetated pish from late 70s new wave or .....theyre just plain shite . point is nme list is incorrect . period .nme didnt use to be like this. 1983 xmas double bumper nme edition had a great selection and also had a great pic of ric 'wik' mayall from young ones on a crucifix (cant remember if that was on the front cover - or around the page 20 mark - its troubling me..).........well thats nme . save yer 6 quid and dont buy it . track downthe 1983 xmas edition on ebay intead .1983 lists will consist of bands that sound just like the bands you LAAARVE now anyway.

then we have the clever lists....uncut / mojo / guardian....etc etc........
these are publications for men who readily admit to their male friends at crying at the end of 'the shawshank redemption'........
the lists reflects their bed wetting capacity ...
number 1 will be neil young or some other 60s child (provided they realeased an album this year) . said album will have been revered across the board in press as ...'hey it sounds just like his early 70's wall of sound , technicolour pop output'...........sorry dude ..it fuckin doesnt. the 70s were the 70s for a good reason............and hallebleedinluljah...the reason is...ANALOGUE .
so , thats right - neil/jerry/johnny/bruce/bob/paul....yer new '70s soundin great album' is in fact shite.....it will have some bad synth sounds that you will have let past in production process because ,brian the chemical brother (essential guest production team with modern cred) told you they were cool ..and also, you are too old to know wot a good synth sound actually sounds like ..........dont start me............. so yeah thats #1.
nuber 2 is a pop filled album sounding like something from the 60s or 70s - the magic numbers etc..............and my god i couldnt believe it when i heard them . just shite. just some drums,guitars and singig. not the 18 pieced spiritual , choral , nose-flute ethnic goup i was lead to believe. they are fat indie kids that you ried to avoid at the indie disko whilst swishin about to 'def con 1'............
the remaining #3 - #50 will be made up of ...
more jingly jangly , acoustic 'song' based music ...
a token black album from hip hop realm . it will have amazing 'social insight' . it will be the hip hop album that the headz go ..'oh yeah that pop shite' to .
there will also be an 'authentic' blues album by a yank with triple barreled name who had previously been playin 'big al's jambalaya shack' in buttfuck,mississippi......until he was 'discovered'........
also, a 'world' music album..........
and lets not forget......the dance album . this will be a mainstream choice , whilst the real dancers are freakin to the latest shit on kompakt ....the broadsheet mojo mutoid will still be dancing to the chemical brothers or the best of leftfield.............

so , yeah bring em on.i love lists...............but only thru a blindfold.

now playing - holby city

9 Comments:

Blogger Magic Door said...

Ooooooh - love it! C'mon ! More angry please!

Thanks to flipflopflying for pointing us to this page.

Now, deep breaths and slam something on the stereo like....errr....I would make a few suggestions, but errr...you don't like lists, so stick on some Floyd while I think about it...

11:17 AM  
Blogger suspectdj said...

cheers mr magic.this was me uptempo.

12:15 PM  
Blogger hither green addick said...

'In my house
There's a picture on the wall
Rastafari
Sit upon his throne'
Name that tune, fucker.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Mudflapgypsy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Mudflapgypsy said...

You of all people should know how it works keef. Awareness can't stop the hate though, more's the pity, eh?

1:24 PM  
Blogger Mudflapgypsy said...

You of all people should know how it works keef. Awareness can't stop the hate though, more's the pity, eh?

1:28 PM  
Blogger suspectdj said...

hey hither
i dont like words.they get in the way.
but what is it ? for our own sake.
sudpectdj

8:46 AM  
Blogger Mudflapgypsy said...

Hope you and Missus Rants had a lovely crimbo. Tell her we missed her at the big do( I'll eemail some photeez this week fer a geg). From Mr and Mrs Flapgypsy.

Oh, yeah I agree with the vitiol towards end of the year lists. Cannae stand 'em.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Mudflapgypsy said...

If only I could spell, eh?

1:55 PM  

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